holla atcha blog

Ok, so I fell off again and it's been forever since I've written anything on here. I did so well March - July, but after all the Lolla hoopla I really never got back into it. Granted I was really busy in August and September due to moving and job switching, but after that I don't have much of an excuse except for being mildly depressed for a while. But anyhoo, it doesn't matter cuz here I am! Back in action, watch out!!

So for those of you that can't keep up, I work at Azia now. I half love half hate it. My depression before was somewhat due to thinking I needed a 'real' job, but I don't think that's the case anymore. Now my goal is just to create something in my down time so I am doing something productive and that I like to do rather than just... I don't know partying all the time or something, ha. There's nothing wrong with being a server. It's a lifestyle I enjoy, so all you 9-5ers can suck it. Me likey. Well, I'd likey more if Azia wasn't so hellish sometimes, but sometimes it's really fun too, so whatev. I still job hunt every day, but I don't know how I actually feel about making the big switch to a day job. Generally speaking tho, I feel like I'm in a lot better place than I was in in my more melancholy blogs as of late.

Regarding other aspects of my life, I still have a terrible knack of meeting boys either with girlfriends or ones that are just getting out of really long term relationships and so they are thus in no position to be hanging out with me, because I just can't deal with that emotional bs. Well, I mean it's not bs, I understand where they are coming from, but I'm not one for hanging out and then having to wait while you cry after we kiss, because you aren't ready yet :P Haha. And anyway, I have about 10 crushes at any given time, so I guess it doesn't really matter.

Regarding friends, there are some friends I haven't seen for a while that I need to make a point of reconnecting with. There are new friends from work that are very fun, in fact I have poker night with work friends tonight. Wish me luck!! Other friends I know are depressed and I finally said something today, but I'm not sure if it went over very well. They said they would be fine, but I don't know. I mean, I know they will be, but I think it's about time they snapped out of it even if it's little baby steps to not sitting around and moping all the time.

I am craving bennihana and really need to get there for lunch sometime soon when it's cheap. Mmmm, shrimp sauce...

I was thinking about canceling my gym membership since I haven't been there in months, but now I realized I'm getting fat and with the holiday season coming, I think I need to meet with a personal trainer so they can make a workout plan for me that's efficient instead of me just blundering around doing 30 minutes of cardio and some random weights. Also, my insurance will kick back in if I go a lot and it will be cheaper. And there is a tanning booth. Woot!

My kittens are still adorable as ever, but Yumi is stinky today and I really want to give her a bath, but I just don't think I have the energy for it. I need to convince someone to help me. Any takers??

And I guess that's it for now. Peace & love y'all.

:(

didn't we go to highschool together?

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I could have sworn... what year did you graduate? ;)

muh

Lately every time I get into my car to go wherever, I feel compelled to just pass my destination and keep driving. To where? I'm not sure. I just get this sense of melancholy and don't want to stop. Lately I just feel a sense of incompleteness or like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop though I don't know what will happen when it does. I'm bored. I suppose now would be a good time to set up a screen printing area in my apartment and get a dba set up etc. but I am somehow immobilized as well. Frozen in the boredom that is my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, I love my friends, I have a good time when I go out with them and all, but it just isn't enough lately. I need more.

time

I feel like I need more time. An extra 4 hours in every day. I don't have enough of it to get everything done. Some of the things I need to do have other people depending on me for it, some stuff is just me, some for work... all of it doesn't fit into my day. I often underestimate the amount of time menial things things take, like going to buy more garbage bags, or changing the kitty litter, doing laundry. All of a sudden there is no time for anything else until I have to go to work. And then I get home from work hoping to finish up other work, but I find that I'm exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open and it's only midnight. Eating also takes up a lot of time. But it's necessary. Setbacks like being unable to find work clothes took up 2 entire days of my free time. 3 if you count that I had to go to my parents to pick them up, because they needed to be hemmed. I need a day off.

Also, it's second chance summer! This whole week will be nice so everyone wear shorts and sandals, because this is probably your last chance! I personally, am stoked. That is if I ever get to leave my apartment besides going to work.

end of an era

Wow. In case you haven't noticed, summer is over. Really over. Here are the top 10 exciting things about the end of summer according to me (I'm trying to be optimistic here, so just go with it):

1. Quit Stella's
2. Got hired at Azia
3. Football season is here! Go Vikes!!
4. The return of plaids and argyle
5. I can wear boots again!
6. Fall coats are super cutey!!
7. Changing color leaves
8. Lower electricity bill (no AC!)
9. Hoodies
10... I can't think of any more actually. [insert your own exciting thing here]

glum

Today I feel lethargic and kind of depressed. I have a feeling it's mostly to do with the weather. Summer is really basically over. This year I feel like once summer is over, so is my life. Not really, but the end of all the fun and games. It doesn't even have to be that way if I could just find a goddamn job. I feel like that would be the end of all my problems (sort of) and rejuvinate me about life. I'm sick of serving. I just applied for another server/bartender job, but I am not excited about it. At all. In fact, I kind of hope I just don't get it. Which is dumb, because if I can't find a day job I'm going to need an additional job besides Stella's. Aaagghhh. BOO URNS.

In not so pessimistic news, New Kids on the Block released their CD which made me happy <3 <3 <3 :). Ha. One good thing about summer being over means everyone is releasing their fall lines which means the return of plaids and I love plaids. Not that I have money to buy any of it, but it's nice to have it around again. That's all for now. Ciao ciao.